Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Be who you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

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But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

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You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

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It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

You are like me, then.

The sadness was still there.

I am noticing that some people are saying if Trump stayed in office that there wouldn't be any wars such as Ukraine and Russia, but when Biden came in office war started. What are your thoughts?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s here now, writing to you.

I caught my 16-year-old daughter reading Haunting of Adaline. It says it’s an 18 and I’ve heard some bad stuff about that book. What should I do?

I was tired of fighting.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

If Russia needs the resources to fund the war in Ukraine, why doesn’t it throw open its doors to visa free western tourism? Enough people would be interested, & it would start to get some hard currency as €, CHF, £, SEK, $, JPY in the tills at shops.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

And the sadness?

It’s still here.

My wife admitted to cheating on me with a married man. Should I tell this man and his wife that I know?

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I had run out of hope.

Every time I brush my hair when it’s dry it poofs up like a poof ball. But if I don’t brush it looks tangled and messy. I know I have some sort of curl or wavy hair, ive tried gels to define curls but it makes my hair frizzy and messy. What do I do?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

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It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”